reblog and make a wish!
this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
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Situation: Draco after anesthesia
Draco: - Who are you?
Harry: - Don't you recognize me?
D: - No.
H: - Are you sure, Draco?
D: - Draco? As in I'm Draco?
H: - Yes, that's your name.
D: - *laughs with a grunt* LIKE A DRAGON?
H: - *also laughing* Yeah.
D: - *suddenly serious* I LOVE DRAGONS!
H: - You're named after a constellation.
D: - I LOVE CONSTELLATIONS!
H: *laughs out loud*
D: - Hey!
H: - Yeah?
D: - You're so handsome. I would definitely remember you, because you are sooooo handsome. I think you're the most handsome guy I've ever seen.
H: *laughs again*
D: - Do you work here?
H: - No.
D: - Then why are you sitting here?
H: - I'm looking after you.
D: - Oh, that's nice. Do you have a boyfriend?
H: - Yes, I do.
D: - *clearly upset* Damn, that fucking asshole is lucky.
H: - You know who that is?
D: - No. Does he work here?
H: - No, he's admitted here.
D: - *suspiciously narrows his eyes* Soooo?
H: - You're my boyfriend, Draco.
D: *with genuine surprise and admiration* I am?
H: - Yes.
D: *in tears* Oh, my God... How long have we been dating? Do we love each other? Because I think I definitely love you.
H: - *smiles* I do too. Actually, we're married.
D: - WE'RE MARRIED???? *leans back on the bed and starts crying even harder* Jesus, you're not kidding?
H: *laughs* No, Draco.
D: - And how long have we been married???? AND WE HAVE A DRAGON?
H: - *laughs again* We have been married for a very long time. We don't have a dragon, but we do have a dog and a cat.
D: *sobs* I LOVE DOGS AND CATS AND YOU. JESUS, MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
Showering Seungmin with affection Part 2
First part right here
Bang Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; IN;
Summary: While wide awake thinking about your poor life choices and even poorer choice in men the least thing you expect is for Seungmin to call you and ask for your help.
Warnings: Not really accurate to name, because to be honest I never once considered writing the second part while writing the first one but once I got all these requests about writing continuation I just knew I had to do it; LOADS of cursing, like really, I have no shame; Idiots in love; Reader is whipped but is in denial; Emotionaly reserved reader; Denial is a river in Egypt you are in love! Like really, reader really tries their best to fight it while also not? I hope it makes sense once you read it it's like 3 am I can't think better. Reader is an overthinker. Seungmin has a headache. Shy Seungmin for a moment (Coudln't help myself) I can't think of anything else, If I missed something please let me know. Unedited.
Word count-3.5k
✧memories of us ✧ Once upon a sunny day
↳ Pairing: Jisung x Reader
❧ Genre : romance / smut /fluff / 1st love to strangers to lovers
❧ Summary: Sometimes memories are just that. Memories.
A series of drabbles about you and Jisung, about your love and your heartbreak and a second chance.
❧ A/N: Likes and reblogs are appreciated ♥
When Soyeon invited you to her little garden party, you didn’t need to think twice, you said yes. First, because Soyeon, in a very short lapse of time became an important person in your life. She was bubbly, caring, funny and owed your favourite café. Secondly, the party was at her place and her house despite being small was cosy and had a nice garden that came out right from a fairy tale (in your opinion, of course). And then, food. Soyeon and her BBQ – nobody could possibly say no to this. You certainly couldn’t.
This was how you found yourself at her door on a Sunday afternoon, waiting for her to open it. Loud music was coming out of the house which made you wonder if Soyeon could even hear her doorbell. She, of course, did.
Soyeon opened the door, looking like a little fairy with two light pink braids, flowers in her hair, a cute beige dress with black dots. She looked adorable.
“Y/N!” She beamed and jumped right into your arms, almost making you drop the new plant you brought her as a gift for her garden and the bottles of her favourite wine. You managed, just on time, to open your arms widely enough to avoid any disaster.
“how is annabeth head of athena cabin” have you ever met an autistic 12 year old girl. she’s running that shit like the navy
Some other bangers;
- "Jack of all trades, master of none" ... "but ofttimes better than a master of one."
"Blood is thicker than water.""The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb.""Money is the root of all evil.""The love of money is the root of all evil."
there's also "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" which conservatives are oh so fond of saying
bootstraps are, well, straps on your boots. you cannot physically pull yourself up by them, and that's what the original phrase meant. "pulling oneself up by the bootstraps" is meant to be an impossible task
i think we should abolish the term middle east
like i know ive said this before but it is so incredibly eurocentric because its literally a reference to its relative location to europe. and because this definition is so alienated from its actual geographical context you have people genuinely believing the middle east somehow transcends continents and doesn’t exist in asia. there are so many disputes over which countries are middle eastern and which aren’t because the entire thing is an imprecise way of grouping different cultures together by white people who think we’re a monolith anyway and this could all be avoided if we just use the term southwest asia and break free of europes influence over brown people.
i see y’all with your “steven goes to work at the mystery shack” headcanons and i’ve just gotta say… he would absolutely be the sketchiest person in gravity falls
the 2nd gravity falls summer (bc you know there would be more than one) the mystery is ‘what the fuck is wrong with this traumatized pink teenager’ instead of ‘who is the author of the journals’
with such great hits as
- mabel (upon seeing steven’s gem): you’re PERMANENTLY BEDAZZLED?????
- dipper: ugh gideon’s the worst
- steven: oh yeah I hate it when your friends try to kill you, but you just gotta wait it out and be patient with them and they’ll come around to you eventually
- dipper: what. the fuck.
- the kids repainting the sign when mabel drops her paintbrush to the ground by accident, cue steven being like ‘np i’ll get it’ and walking straight off the edge of the roof
- mabel: i hate that picture of me, 4th grade’s the worst
- steven: haha yeah…grades…those exist… i definitely didn’t look exactly the same from ages 8 to 14 for complicated shapeshifting reasons
- “our grunkle stan is kind of a sketchy guy” “oh no way most of my family are war criminals”
- steven: *breaks a cup* aw shit *licks it and it seals back together*
- dipper: *furiously taking notes*
- theres no possible way that steven “haven’t you noticed I’m a star” universe doesn’t come over to mabel’s slumber parties w/ candy and grenda and casually mention his girlfriend who a. is literally a knight in shining armor, b. has taken down multiple genocidal dictators thousands of times her size, not to mention c. mastering the art of swordfighting when she was twelve and d. saving his life and the lives of all the beach city residents on a regular basis
- dipper: *trying to reach something on a high shelf*
- steven: oh here you go *shapeshifts his arm to grab it and bring it down*
- dipper: ??????thanks??
- playing w/ waddles and nonchalantly saying something about missing his own large, pink pet, a magical lion that can teleport and that he has ridden into battle multiple times
- (at suzy’s diner) steven: don’t worry, i’ll get the bill
- various pines: thanks man
- steven: it’s cool, my dad’s a millionaire
- dipper:
it’s honestly the funniest fucking thing to imagine steven outright not even PRETENDING to hide any of the unusual parts of himself, but dipper still acting as if it’s all some giant conspiracy he’s going to crack by the end of summer.
mabel: “dipper, stop being such a dummy-dumb, he literally TOLD us that he’s half gem on his mother’s side!”
dipper, chewing furiously on his pen: “yeah, but what does that MEAN???”
steven: Oh my mom used to be an alien overlord sent to earth to drain it of its resources. But she didnt want to so she lead a rebellion against my aunts and grandma which i had to finish a couple years
Grunkle Ford: huh, so thats what happened to the gem authority
The implication that Ford knows exactly what Steven is and just left Dipper to obsess over it anyway is gold